I Know I'm Not Fat, But-

I know I'm not fat, but sometimes, it's hard being the bigger friend of the friend group.

Coming in at a whopping 5'1 and a quarter I stand awfully short, and always have. Nicknames have ranged from Spongebob (due to my lack of a torso) to Meatball, to fun-sized munchkin, I've heard it all. And don't get me wrong. I love being short.

I have always been short and wouldn't want to be any other way. But just like any girl, I have grown up in a society where the standard of beauty didn't really look anything like me. Tall, blonde, and extremely skinny. (I'm a fake blonde and very open about it)

But as I said, I know I'm not fat. Could I stand to lose a few pounds? Of course. Coming out of my sophomore year of college (forget the freshman 15, college makes you gain weight every year) I had gained a lot of weight and since then worked really hard to lose it and maintain a weight I'm happy with. And I have done that.

But among my friends, I still am the biggest. And it can be hard. It is hard, some days more than others, some nights more than others. It's hard to not compare myself to them or to anyone else I see. When I see other girls my size I sit there and wonder how they look so small or I wonder what I would look like if I had a few more inches.

I always question what people think when they look at me in groups. If people look at me and actually think I'm fat. Or what my friends think when they think they look fat and I'm still heavier than they are.

It's always in the back of my mind and something I think about. Just like it is for anyone. I love my friends, I love my body, I love myself. But I would also love a few extra inches and a good diet plan too.